Rough Hand (Rock Bridge Ruffians, Book One) Read online

  My phone vibrates again, and I sigh and dig it out, despite knowing it’s probably a text from him. I shut off my ringer and turn it upside down on the table so I don’t have to hear it anymore.

  Her brows knit. “Are you going to look at what he wrote?”

  “Nope.”

  “Why?”

  The question is simple, but answering it means peeling back my layers, opening myself to my past, revealing things to her that I can’t even deal with myself. All those bitter memories. “Because he’s a dick,” I say plainly. “And I really don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just eat this pie.” I pick up the fork and dig in, though it doesn’t taste good to me anymore. I force myself to chew bite after bite.

  Alexa sits there a moment staring at me. “Why do you get so closed off when I try to ask you about your past?”

  I sigh and drop the fork on the plate. “I’ve talked to you about lots of things from my past.”

  “Some memories, yes. But nothing that’s really…meaningful to you. Nothing that shows me how you grew up or what your life was like.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to think about those things,” I counter. “I prefer to live in the present, not letting my past fester in me. Surely you of all people can understand leaving baggage behind, given what happened with your parents.”

  I can tell as soon as I utter the words that it’s the wrong thing to say. Her eyes get a flare of hurt, and she puts her fork down and scoots the chair back. Stands. “I need to go.” With that declaration, she turns on her heel and walks toward the front door.

  Fuck. Fuck. I dig cash out of my wallet in a hurry, toss it on the table, grab my phone, and dart out the door after her. “Alexa, wait,” I call to her retreating figure.

  She doesn’t turn around, just starts trotting down the sidewalk. Surely she isn’t going to walk the two miles to her house, is she? In this heat? The sun is beating down and the wind is still, offering no reprieve.

  I stalk up to her and grab her arm.

  “Don’t,” she warns me, ripping herself out of my grip. Her voice is heavy with anger and vulnerability. “Just…don’t.”

  “This is ridiculous,” I tell her. “Let’s get in my car.”

  She bites her lower lip and glares at me, shifting from foot to foot. I feel the weight of her gaze, of her judgment, and it makes my stomach tighten. “All I’m trying to do is get to know you. But you won’t tell me anything.”

  “Would you have told me about your parents?” I counter. “For real. If I hadn’t found out, would you have ever opened up to me about it? Or did you come here to leave it all behind and start over?”

  That makes her pause. She looks down at the ground.

  “Alexa,” I say softer. I reach out to touch her slender fingers. “This shit is hard for me. I have a lot of crap I just want to leave in the past. The same as you do.”

  “I get that,” she whispers. “I really do. But…I’m learning that’s not the best way to deal with things. It hasn’t worked for me or my sisters. All it does it keep finding a way to pop up in the present and even impact the future. You can’t keep living this way, Levi. It’s not healthy.”

  “Well, regardless, it’s the way I deal with things. That’s who I am.” Blunt words, but true. “I’m not the guy who’s going to cry on your shoulder and trade stories about what sucked in our lives growing up.”

  She stiffens. “Is that what you think I want?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Alexa sighs and looks up at me. “You’re really shitty at this, you know.”

  “Which is exactly my point.” I dare to reach over and stroke her cheek. Her skin is hypnotically soft, and once I start touching her, it’s hard to make myself stop. I let my fingers glide along her cheekbones, whisper to curve the shell of her ear. Her eyelids flutter closed. “I’ve never had a reason to be any other way than who I am. At least…not until I met you.”

  That coaxes a small smile out of her, and she opens her eyes to look at me. The sun glows on her hair, her skin, making her look angelic. Fuck, I don’t deserve this woman. I’m shocked she’s standing here listening to me, despite how much I’ve stuck my foot in my fucking mouth today.

  Alexa reaches up and cups her fingers over my hand, still stroking her face. “I’m just worried. And I want to know you better.”

  “You do know me,” I protest.

  “All of you. The way you do me.”

  “There isn’t anything about my past that’s going to reveal new information about my present,” I tell her. I really want to get this point across to her. “Let’s go to my car. We can sit in the air conditioning like civilized folk. Okay?” I lean down and rest my forehead against hers, still looking into those piercing eyes.

  She sighs, but I see the edges of a smile crack in the corners of her mouth. “Okay, fine.” She shakes her head. “You know how to get what you want, Levi.”

  I lean down and kiss her mouth. “Maybe we should go somewhere and peel these clothes off.” I pull back and look at her, suddenly getting an idea. “Do you like swimming?”

  She blinks in surprise. “Um, yes?”

  “Good.” I grab her hand and pull her after me.

  “Levi!” she says with a laugh, stumbling to keep up. “Where are we going? I don’t have a swimsuit on me. I don’t even think I packed one when I moved here.”

  I open my car door and let her in. Close it, then hustle to the driver’s side. I haven’t taken her out on my bike yet, but I’m going to soon. Once she experiences the world that way, I think it’s going to surprise her, make her want more.

  But today, I have other plans. I look over at her as I crank the engine. “Where we’re going, you won’t need a suit.”

  Alexa raises her eyebrows. “Oh, is that right?”

  She’s so fucking beautiful, here by my side in my car, and I’m suddenly feeling light again, our earlier tension gone. I want to ride on this high as long as I can. I lean over and give her a hot, openmouthed kiss. “We’re going skinny dipping. It’s time to show you more of what Rock Bridge has to offer.”

  Alexa

  “You’re kidding,” I say to Levi with a shocked laugh. “You know I’ve never done this before, right?” He wants to go skinny dipping, of all things? The idea is kind of laughable. Me, getting naked out in public somewhere. Right.

  Levi pulls out of the parking lot and the tires squeal as he peels away. I can see the smirk on his face even in profile. “You’ve been a good girl for way too long, sweetheart. I didn’t know you in high school, but I know you now. I think you crave a little badness. Time to start breaking you out of that shell.”

  We go flying down the road, winding through beautiful wooded areas. Trees are bright green, with sunlight spilling everywhere. It’s a perfect day to go swimming, actually. Cool water would be a lovely reprieve from the heat, if I can somehow get over my self-consciousness about naked swimming.

  And it may help me shake off the lingering vestiges of unease I’m feeling about what just happened.

  Levi likes me, I can tell. Cares about me. Wants me. But there’s still so much I don’t know about him. So much he won’t share with me. I know he says that’s who he is, and likely he doesn’t open up to anyone else, either. But more and more, I’m wanting us to be serious. We haven’t spoken a word about commitment, not even to be boyfriend/girlfriend, though I’m sure he’s not seeing anyone else.

  Same as me. I don’t even have any interest in looking at another guy.

  Every day that passes makes my heart ache for him. I’ve never experienced this feeling before, this burning need to be around someone as much as I can. When we touch, I want to keep on touching.

  And when he’s inside me, our limbs tangled together, our sweat-slicked bodies connected in the most intimate way possible, I feel like I’ve found my other half.

  Which scares the living hell out of me.

  Yeah, I’m falling for him. Head over heels, all the clichés. I’m falling hard
for Levi, and he’s working just as hard to keep himself from being vulnerable with me. Does this make me a fool, or can I even hope that he might start to open up to me?

  “Hey, you’re awful quiet over there,” Levi says, reaching over to take my hand. He entwines his fingers through mine. “You can’t be sad on skinny dipping day. It’s against the law.”

  That coaxes a smile out of me. I shake my head. “I still can’t believe I’m even doing this. It’s not like me, at all. My sisters would have a stroke if they knew.” Speaking of, I grab my phone and fire off a text to check in and let them know I’ll be home later.

  Jenna replies with a smiley face, saying she’s at home doing homework. Morgan reads it, according to the read notification, but doesn’t respond to me. She’s still mad at me over my attempt to ground her. How am I supposed to fix it? I’m at a total loss.

  She’s still seeing that Dylan guy. I’ve smelled alcohol on her breath a few times since then, but I haven’t said a word. I’m scared—I don’t know what to say to make her listen. Drinking and partying aren’t the way to get over our parents’ death.

  Jenna said I just need to give her time, that Morgan is talking to her a little and she’ll come around.

  I try to shake off my sudden rush of sadness over my situation with my sisters and look out the window. “It’s beautiful here,” I murmur.

  “Used to love coming back here as a kid,” he says, his fingers stroking mine with tiny little movements. I’m not even sure he’s aware he’s doing it; it feels more like an unconscious gesture of affection. The thought makes my heart flutter. “Cade and I explored every inch of this area. When we found this lake, we declared it was our secret place. Many summer days were spent here.” He has a reminiscing smile on his face as he drives one-handed.

  He looks so peaceful now—clearly, Cade was an important part of his life when he was growing up. I’ve enjoyed hearing stories about them growing up.

  Levi pulls into a small parking lot and stops the car. “Here’s where we walk.” We exit the car and head down a path into the woods.

  It’s cooler in here, though not by much. At least the sun isn’t beating down on us. I brush my fingers along errant leaves hanging down from trees. “I can see why you were here so much as a kid,” I muse. “It’s quiet. Peaceful.”

  Levi takes my hand, and I can’t help but think about how perfect it fits with mine.

  His large hand envelopes mine so easily, and we seem to lock in place that way.

  God, my heart is falling into his grasp bit by bit; I don’t think I can fight it. But I have to keep my feelings to myself. It’s evident he isn’t there yet.

  Maybe he never will be.

  The downer thought picks at the edges of my brain, even though I try to shove it away.

  I force a smile. “So how far away is this place?” I’m assuming since we came to the woods that we’re headed to a lake, not a pool.

  “Not too much more.” We duck under low-lying branches and take a sharp left off the path.

  He stops and pulls me into his arms, kissing me so thoroughly that I can barely walk when he’s done. His mouth is burned onto mine, the imprint of his fingers etched on my flesh. This man has ruined me completely—there’s no possible way another person could make me feel like this.

  Sexy, powerful, vulnerable, desired. Nurtured.

  We move again, walking for another twenty minutes or so, padding along the soft grasses under thick trees until we come to a wide clearing.

  And in the middle of the clearing is a stunning lake, its surface barely rippled. It’s large, extending far off into the distance.

  “Oh, it’s gorgeous,” I say, clapping. “This is perfect!”

  “Plus there’s no one around,” he tells me. “I don’t know why, but people never come here. In all the years I’ve been to this lake, I may have run into others…oh, hell, a dozen times? At most?” He leads me toward the edge of the water. “I enjoy the privacy. Sometimes come here when I need to get away and think.”

  I slide out of my sandal and toe the surface, leaving tiny ripples in my wake. “God, it’s so cool,” I breathe. Suddenly I’m eager to jump in. I can see through the surface all the way down to the bottom—the water is clear and clean.

  Before I realize what’s happening, Levi is tossing his clothes left and right. Then, totally naked, he takes a running start and cannonballs into the lake. A huge gush of water spurts around him, and it flies everywhere, splattering me and soaking my dress to my skin.

  “Levi!” I say, gasping as I try to pry the wet red fabric from my torso.

  “Feels good though, doesn’t it?” he says with a devilish grin. His hair is slicked back, and small droplets run down his skin.

  He looks like a fucking god in the water, come up to beckon me. A male siren. I’m helpless before him.

  “It’s time for you to get naked, bad girl,” he says, crooking a finger at me. “Come here.”

  I don’t know why, but suddenly I’m feeling shy. He’s seen me naked multiple times, has touched me all over, has had his mouth between my legs. But out here in the broad daylight, where someone else might happen to stumble upon us…

  He shakes his head, little droplets flying. “You’re overthinking things. Stop. Shut your brain off, strip out of that dress, and just jump in.”

  I know he’s right. Still, I undress as fast as I can and then I fly into the water, gasping in shock as the cold hits my naked flesh. “Oh God, oh God, oh God!” I squeal, wading through toward him.

  He reaches out and cups my ass, tugging me flush against his body. I wrap my legs around his waist, and we bob in the water, which reaches just below our shoulders.

  “See, you’re covered,” he says, pushing hair off my face. His eyes are brilliant blue in this light. I feel like I can see deep inside him. “You’re safe with me.”

  I really am. I believe this man will do anything to protect me—he’s proven it more than once. That has to mean something, right?

  But does it mean love?

  I wrap my arms around his shoulders and try to just live in this moment. Press my naked flesh to his as close as I can get. Small drops of water cling to his eyelashes and his skin as he watches me.

  “Lie back,” he says, shifting his hands to my upper hips. “I’ll support you.”

  Despite knowing this will thrust my bare breasts out of the water, I do as he says. I stretch my arms out at my side and stare into the bright blue sky. The water hugs me like a caress, and I smile.

  Levi may never know what a gift he’s given me. Since I moved to Rock Bridge, I feel human again. I feel more like myself, but even better, like a version of me I never knew I wanted to be. I’m finding joy, too. My life isn’t overwhelming pain anymore, the quest to escape my past biting at my heels. Things aren’t perfect, and there’s still a long way to go, but I have hope.

  “You look like a mermaid,” he says in a reverent whisper. One hand moves from my ass to caress my belly, cup under my breath. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, it hurts.”

  I sit up again and look at him, and then I kiss him. Press my wet hands to the sides of his face and take his mouth hot and hard. I’m filled with a riot of emotions flooding me—bliss, warmth, satisfaction, all threaded with an undertone of lust that never seems to leave me.

  When he strokes his tongue in my mouth, my pussy clenches. I gasp against his lips, and his hands are on my ass again, clenching me close to him. God, he’s already so hard, his cock nestled right between my pussy lips.

  “I need to be inside you,” he groans.

  I want it too. I want it so badly. I want him to lay me down on the grass and push into me and I want the sun above us, warming our skin. I nod, and his eyes get dark with the promise of pleasure to come.

  Levi carries me out of the water, with my legs still wrapped around his waist, walking toward where we discarded our clothes. I drop my legs down when he stops moving.

  And then I’m on my back, the gr
ass tickling my damp skin, and he’s lying on me, the wetness of our flesh giving our movements a delicious drag against each other. His mouth rasps against my throat, down to my breast, to capture my nipple with a soft bite.

  His fingers part my legs as he nestles between my thighs, and then he’s pushing the digits inside me, stretching me.

  I feel bold. I feel wild. I’m not the “good girl” I used to be. The one who never took risks. Who played things safe. Who never felt this level of passion.

  “I need to be inside you,” he gasps, reaching with his other hand toward his jeans and grabbing a condom.

  “You came prepared,” I say with a light chuckle that turns to a moan when he curls his fingers inside to stroke my g-spot.

  “I came hoping that I could fuck you,” he growls, sheathing his cock.

  I dig my heels into the dirt and leg my legs drop wide open, and then his fingers are gone and he’s thrust his cock inside me to the hilt. “Yes,” I say, pushing my pelvis toward his. I need him deeper. Harder. Faster. I reach down and grip his ass, encouraging him to take me the way I crave.

  His hand snakes up to twine in my hair, and he yanks my head back. Bites down on my throat and pumps that cock into me. I just hang on while he rides me, fucking me with abandon, every push into my cunt stoking my inner fire. My pussy is throbbing, my clit sensitive and aching to explode.

  I rake my nails down his back, hard enough to leave marks, hard enough to break the skin. I want it rough. I need it rough. I need to remember that I’m alive and I can feel pleasure.

  Levi looks down at me, a warning in his hot eyes. “You’re playing with fire, sweetheart.”

  “I want to be burned,” I tell him in a throaty voice I hardly recognize as mine. I feel brazen, hungry for everything he can give me.

  His other hand is suddenly around my throat. “You need me to take control, don’t you.”

  “Yes,” I whisper, the raw power and masculinity of him mixing with my arousal and making me wetter. I don’t know where this is going, but I want whatever it is.